Disquiet

Garrus stirred slightly from his slumber to turn on his side. As he moved, the conscious part of him looked forward to the warmth, comforting feeling of Shepard against his body. When he was all the way on his side, he felt...nothing. With his eyes still closed, his burrows furrowed in puzzlement. He moved his talon around to see if she had moved farther away. Still nothing. He only felt empty, cold space.

Jerking awake, he jolted up from the covers. He looked to the side of the bed where Shepard had fallen asleep. The space was not occupied. Becoming increasingly worried, he scanned the room. Fortunately, he didn't have to worry long. He sighed in relief when he saw her slender, firm form standing in front of the fish tank.

She had her arms folded across her chest. Her eyes were closed while her head was down. She appeared to be in deep thought. The soft, blue light coming from the fish tank illuminated onto her skin. It seem to create a veiled aura around her, enhancing her beauty.

Garrus chuckled quietly as he shook his head. He got out bed and made his way over to her.

*****************************

Elena took in slow, calm deep breaths as her mind swam in a pool of thoughts.

"Shepard."

Like an ocean shore wave, Garrus' voice shifted her thoughts to the present. Opening her eyes, she gazed at him.

"What are you doing up?" she asked softly.

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I couldn't sleep."

"How come?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

He embraced her more closely. For as long as he had known her, he knew she was lying to him. Plus, with her body pressed up against his, he felt how rigid it was. This only made him want to help her, if he could. He rested his head on the side of her forehead.

"Come on, Shepard," he said. "You know you can trust me. I want to help and support you, but I can't if you won't let me."

Elena reflected on his words. 'I'll be here if you need me.' Such simple words to such a simple, yet encouraging statement. He had stayed true to those words. He had stayed by her side even in the worst of times. Even after sparing Sidonis, he had remained with her. She was thankful everyday for such a loyal, caring individual.

Sighing, she gently took hold of one of his mandibles. Her fingers began to tenderly
stroke it. She took a deep breath, taking in his unique, turian scent.

"Garrus, can we really do this?"

"What do you mean? Do you mean stopping the Reapers, or..." He swallowed hard, fearing the answer. "You and -?"

"The Reapers."

Deep down, he sighed in relief. He had been uncertain about starting a relationship with Shepard. He still was...just a tad. It would certainly be different than anything he had ever experienced. Of course, he knew it would be strange for her too. He took some comfort in that.

Even when he reassured her she didn't have to chose him, she stood firm in her decision. 'I don't want something closer to home. I want you. I want someone I can trust.' She had said that with such a pleasant tone of voice and sparkle in her eyes that it was hard to resist her.

From this moment, he had little doubts about his decision.

Kissing her temple, he said, "Of course we can. We stopped the Collectors, didn't we? I don't-"

"The Collectors were just tools of the Reapers, remember? When the Reapers arrive..."
Letting go of his mandible, she rested it on her heart. "It'll be the real deal."

"Shepard, where did this sudden doubt come from?" Garrus asked getting concerned again.

"I'm just worried. I may be CO of this mission, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect."

"You are to me," he whispered.

Elena couldn't help but smile. Her cheeks flushed a warm rosy color. As more thoughts surfaced in her mind, Garrus was mixed into them. Scenarios with him in it were compiled together. Good and bad memories suddenly created grief in her heart. A few tears streamed down her cheeks. She nestled her face into his, taking in a sharp breath to settle down and prevent anymore tears from falling.

Feeling her tears, he pulled away to see the clear streams on her face. Cupping her face
in his talons, he gently wiped them away. Then he rested his forehead on hers.

"Everything is going to work out, Shepard. You'll see."

Taking both his talons in her hands, Elena formed them into one, big fist. Then she kissed it.

"I'm worried about the future, Garrus. I'm worried about...us."

"Are you having second thoughts?"

Elena quickly glanced up at him when she noticed the change in his tone of voice. The look on his face made her heart ache even more. Using one of her hands, she rested it against his scar.

"It's not what you think," she said. "I have no doubt in my mind about us." She smiled softly. "It's just..." She allowed both of her hands to fall to her side. Then she turned and walked a few steps away from him. "In the past, I didn't have anything 'personal' to fight for. The things I fought for were survival and the rest of the galaxy." She turned back toward Garrus. "But now...I have you."

Garrus was suddenly starting to understand what she meant and also where her doubt was coming from.

"I don't want to lose you," she said walking up to him until she was a few inches in front of him.

Both of them stared at one another for, what seemed like, a long time. Then Garrus cupped her face in his talons as he lowered his forehead onto hers once more.

"I'm not going anywhere, Shepard. Not as long as I have you with me."

He said that with such a calm, yet reassuring voice it made Elena feel better. It slowly brought her confidence back. Gazing up at her turian love, she smiled. Just by intently looking at him, she knew she could lead her team to victory. His smile, or the turian equivalent of a smile, invoked self-confidence and strength in her. It washed away all her doubts.

"I love you, Garrus," she whispered.

He smiled. "I love you too, Elena." Then she picked her up and took her back to bed.

While in his arms, Elena closed her eyes and snuggled up against his chest. A smile creeping on her lips.